As we are heading towards a new year and all rolling along with plans and ideas and possibilities of what is to come I thought I’d take a little time to share a bit of the back-story behind the name of this here little piece of the internet and why I chose to call it Live. Create. Love It, as a way of reflecting on the past year.
For some reason I still can’t quite put my finger on I began 2014 feeling wonderfully optimistic. 2013 was not a terrible year but it wasn’t a particularly fantastic one either, I spent most of it feeling apathetic and uninspired. It felt lacking in joy and I couldn’t ever quite find myself in that happy place that I wanted to be in. So I found myself exploring what it means to be happy. The things other people have tried, what is it that makes my heart sing. For me I knew it had something to do with prioritising the things that are important to me – my faith, my family, and my passion. Creating space physically – so that I wasn’t drowning in clutter and the next little thing that came along demanding my attention, instead of getting to the things that I really wanted. Life was happening but I kind of felt like it was just going on without me. I wanted to feel alive and like I was doing what I was meant to be doing but I wasn’t reaching goals I wanted to reach, I wasn’t being challenged in ways that made me feel like I was moving forward and a lot of what I kept bumping into had to do with my thought patterns. Those things I chose to have on repeat all the time and the way they affected my attitudes and behaviours were not serving me well at all. The things I said about myself were often negative and they were hurting my relationships, my outlook and my ability to get out of my own way and into the kind of person I want to be. I was focused on my failings and ungrateful, and it was making me miserable. Looking towards 2014 I was ready to be done with all of that. So I read – a lot. I took classes and I spent time really thinking about the nature of happiness where it comes from, why we feel it. As I pondered my One Little Word for 2014 I just couldn’t figure out what it was that would say all of that stuff that I was thinking and feeling and reading and dwelling on – and then I prayed and there it was: BRAVE, and it scared me.It is very clear that I let two things stand in my way often – FEAR and APATHY. I am perpetually afraid. Afraid of getting it wrong, afraid of getting it right, afraid of putting myself out there and being misunderstood or misinterpreted, afraid of truly embracing who I am and what I’m about, for fear that it will not be received well. And it has been holding me back for a long, long time. I wasn’t really living. I was just treading water and hoping that I’d stumble into the kind of life I want to live , but you know I don’t think that’s how it works. I’m not sure if you can read that little Pebbles journaling card on the layout above, but it says “It is good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and… be happy”, was the thing that I circled. I has to consciously start to choose to be happy. I started choosing to be grateful. I started choosing to focus on things that matter and what’s more I started choosing to do things that added to my happiness. I started being brave doing things like this. Live Create Love It is my reminder of all of these things. It is a call for me to Live – to embrace this one unique life and shake the stuffing out of it and LIVE. It is a call to continue to grow and change and look at that fear in the face and tell it to bugger off cos it’s not going to stand in my way. It is my call to Create, I live and breathe and think and love scrapbooking, it is the lens through which I view the world and I want to share that with other people. It is my call to CREATE the life I want to live, to choose to be happy, to create happiness for those around me who my life touches and it is my call to LOVE IT. To take the messy and the crazy and the good and the happy and the brave and all those bits in between and love my life and love who I am and love what I’m about and be grateful for it.
This is big and this scary for me but I’m showing up anyway.
And by no means am I done with it. I have indeed had a fabulous year. 2014 has been very, very good to me and it’s not even over yet. I still get to squeeze a little more life and creativity and love out of it yet and in this little piece of the world I get to share some of it with you. Thanks for coming along for the ride.